Chapter 1: An Unexpected Journey of Root Tracing
I’m Eunice and I was born in Hong Kong. In 2007, something happened that made me understand my own background better. At that time, a group of people came to my workplace and wanted to know more about my job. One of them told me she is the cousin of my biological mother. My aunt told me that my birth mother was still alive and she was almost 80 years old. I really want to… especially to meet my mother, and I really want to meet my brothers. I was waiting for a chance to see my mother. My aunt told me that my mother was not quite ready to see me. My aunt also mentioned that she had buried a lot of things in her heart that she didn’t want nor know how to deal with. She had to deal with many things suddenly. And she felt the guilt in her heart. Because she had given me up for adoption, she always felt uncomfortable in her heart. So it is very difficult for her to have the courage to meet with me. Finally, with my aunt and my brother’s encouragement, we then had a chance to meet.
Chapter 2: The Painful Decision of a Birth Mom
I saw the decision that my mother made. She had my two older brothers at the time, but my biological father passed away. What my mother saw was that she didn’t have the ability to raise my two brothers and me. She needed to find a job, to find a place to live, to send her children to school. She could see that there’s no way that she could manage. She finally decided to hand me over to another family to raise me up. I can see that it was a very hard and painful process for my mother. She would sometimes tell me that if she hadn’t made this decision, she didn’t know how to live her life. When my mom passed away, I told her this by her bedside. I said, the past ten years had been very precious. I never expected we both had the opportunity and privilege to live through this decade together. I told my mother that what she did made me the stronger self I am today. I said this is really precious, no need to have any regrets. I then said to my mom: “It’s fine to let go and move on. You don’t need to worry anymore, and you don’t need to have any regrets.” I think this has come to full circle. She has given me life, at the same time it was my adoptive family who gave me love. In the end, I felt my mother’s love once again, so I think I am a very blessed person.
Chapter 3: An Adoptee’s View on Adoption
Because my parents are much of a traditional family, they never told me that I was adopted. I think one thing that is very important as an adoptive family is to tell the adoptee that he/she is an adoptee. Explain to them, or tell the children frankly on what they want to know. Because this is very important. If you set apart in your heart, “this is my birth child, this is my adopted child”, they will feel it. I am very happy that I don’t feel any difference at home. I think this is very, very important. If I hadn’t grown up in a family, I don’t know what I would be doing today. I don’t know where I am. And I don’t know if I can have a place to call “home”. I also feel that if I grew up in such an environment, I would definitely not be who I am today. I think that my confidence, all aspects of me, are coming from I have a family to love me. So I am truly grateful that I have an adoptive family.
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