Chapter 1: From Social Worker to Adoptive Mom
So the incredible journey, like all of my dreams of being able to be involved in adoption, has become so personal, because I’ve also become a parent to five children through adoption. And I’ve been able to work in the field of adoption; studied it – I was in my profession as a social worker and expertise in this area with children and family, and adoption specifically.
I definitely imagine that I would have children biologically as well. So my journey actually was experiencing infertility, which actually really gave me so much more understanding of families that are also approaching adoption that are walking through infertility. And so that was also my journey with Jeff.
And in that was ultimately that we could adopt five children. So amazing experience and they’re all young adults (now). So we’ve like launched our family, but we’re a family formed through adoption. We’re a real family. We have diversity in our family –– multi-cultural, multi-racial. And I think often times people see us and wonder: How can you be a family? You don’t all look the same. And for us growing up in an adoptive family, you never think about that necessarily. You do think about your biological family, but you never question: is this a family.
Well, we re-created a photo that we took when they’re all little. And they’re all grown up and so we sat on a couch in Los Angeles where we all met together. And everyone tried to recreate the picture of where they sat when they were just all little. And it was just an amazing moment.
Chapter 2: Support from Adoptive Community
Adoptive Families of Hong Kong, it really started as a support group. I recognized that I wanted support. I was thinking… I was approaching adoption and I wanted to meet others that were also adoptive parents, so I joined it.
And we recognized that the journey of adoption is most important and most meaningful when we can do it in community. No matter what age your child is, when you begin as an adoptive family is sharing about adoption. And so positive adoption language is probably the most empowering tool and resource that we have. We give the language to our children so we talk about their biological family. And we talk about that we’re a family formed through adoption. And each of our kids, they have a narrative of the story, and we add on to it as they grow. And share more of the details of their biological…their birth history, for example.
For myself, I think it’s really important as an adoptive parent, it’s not about my child and my adult child necessarily and their adoption but it’s also my journey. And who am I as a person, and how am I growing and what are the things in me that I also am continuing on this journey. So I think all of us, it’s like all of us are involved in this together. It’s not anyone specifically.
Chapter 3: We are All Connected by Love
In adoption, we have the child – the adoptee, the biological family and the adoptive family. And all of us have our own work to do. I really want to say that adoption is a lifelong journey. And it’s an incredible journey to do together, to continue to open yourself up. I just want to say to all of the families and older adopted people every single person is touched by adoption, biological family, is that somehow we are all connected. And even whether or not we meet, we are together, we’re connected, and we’re on this journey together. And it’s something that I am grateful to have other people that can walk alongside me. I’m grateful to walk along this with my kids. And I just want to encourage all of us that we just continue to grow.
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All donations that Mother’s Choice received in the month of November will be dedicated to Adoption Services. Please support us and check out more about Adoption at: https://www.motherschoice.org/en/what-we-do/for-families/adopt-a-child/