Adoption Awareness Month, celebrated every November at Mother’s Choice and around the world, seeks to increase the awareness of adoption of children under 18 who are waiting for a safe, loving, and forever family to call their own. It is a time to celebrate new beginnings, a recognition of journeys of adoptive families as well as a call to action for prospective adoptive parents. We truly believe that family is the most powerful agent of change, including children with complex profiles. Mother’s Choice Sky Siu and Carmen Lam recently speak to Kylie Knott of ‘South China Morning Post‘ on how Mother’s Choice is helping with our Early Intervention Services to give hope and change life stories. For full story, please read below or visit this SCMP link.
In Hong Kong, 89 children are waiting for adoption into what most of us take for granted – a loving family.
Sky Siu, the new chief executive of Mother’s Choice, a Hong Kong charity that helps pregnant teenagers and children without families, is determined to reduce that number.
Sky Siu, CEO, Mother’s Choice (Photo: Kylie Knott, SCMP)
A veteran of the non-governmental sector, she is fuelled by a vision of seeing every child in a loving family.
Children awaiting adoption can be placed in foster care, or face living in a children’s home.
“Home-based foster families are great but only a temporary solution,” says Siu. A childhood spent in institutional care is the worst-case scenario.
“When children age out of the care system at 18 without a family, it triggers what we call a vicious cycle,” she says. “This is why we work hard to see every child reunite with their birth family or to find a new family when this is not possible.
“We will move heaven and earth to see children in a family as early as possible because family is the most powerful agent of change.”
Most vulnerable, she says, are children in the care system from “complicated backgrounds”. According to the Hong Kong government’s Social Welfare Department (SWD), 68 per cent of the 89 children waiting for adoption fall into this category.
A “complicated background” can mean having a birth parent who was abusive, experienced mental health issues or was drug dependent. “About 70 per cent of the kids that come to us have had at least one parent that’s had drug exposure in their lifetime,” Siu says.
Finding adoptive families for children with special needs is challenging.
While potential adoptive parents may be reluctant to take on a child with special needs, Siu wants families to know that help – from the government and organisations such as Mother’s Choice – is available.
A vital part of the charity’s work, says Siu, is early intervention in cases and offering access to therapy, as it improves the chances of adoption for children with complex profiles.
“Our intervention assessment gauges some of the development delays, whether physical or mental,” she says. “If a child has special needs, our goal is to help them catch up to regular milestones and to help each one reach their full potential.
“We can change a child’s trajectory and improve their ability to get adopted. Rather than look at their challenges, we focus on the strengths of each child.”
Established in 1987, Mother’s Choice has placed more than 325 children with complex or special needs with families and supported 1,300-plus families through the adoption process.
But many children remain stuck in the system, she says. “There needs to be a sense of urgency for these children waiting for a family because the longer a child waits, the lower their chance for adoption.”
Carmen Lam, assistant director, case management, at Mother’s Choice, says the adoption process is complex and can take up to two years.
Carmen Lam, Assistant Director, Case Management, Mother’s Choice (Photo: Kylie Knott, SCMP)
“We have to meet with the adoptive family, sometimes with their children, to interview them and find out about their jobs and health records – there’s a lot we have to assess.”
The needs of the child are the priority, Lam says.
“We’re trying to find the child a perfect home, not find a perfect child for the family.”
Priority is given to placing children with families of the same culture and race, and keeping siblings together in the same adoptive family.
Once matched, a child is placed in the family home for six months, with the official adoption finalised in the courts after that period. A home disruption – when a match fails during the six-month window – is the worst outcome, Lam says.
“This can cause a lot of traumatic stress for the child because they will end up back in the care system, either in a group home or back in the foster home.”
Many develop behavioural issues such as oppositional defiant disorder, a condition when a child shows a pattern of uncooperative, defiant, and hostile behaviour towards peers, parents, teachers, and other authority figures.
A certified social worker, Lam says conversations with potential adoptive parents as to whether the extended family is ready are also needed. “When a new member joins the family, we need to know ‘Is the sibling ready? How about the grandparents, are they ready’?”
Adoptive parents must be sensitive to any trauma the child might have experienced with their birth family or from living in the care system.
Criteria for adoptive parents set by the SWD include being at least 25 years old, reasonably educated and in good physical and mental health to raise a child.
They must also have safe accommodation and sufficient financial resources: for a household of two, combined monthly income of around HK$36,800. Single people can apply to adopt.
Applicants must have lived in Hong Kong for more than a year and be prepared to be based in Hong Kong for at least a further 12 months or until the adoption process is completed.
